This past week I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs and what they had posted. Of course that list includes my friend’s blog (literally, we went to high school together) Raising Chaos. One post in particular caught my eye. I’ve always admired how well spoken & written my friend is but this post hit me right in the feels! She talks about a clip from the movie “Mom’s Night Out”. I cried watching it and I am sure you will too. So grab some tissues and watch it below.
It got you right in the feels too didn’t it? How many of us feel exactly the way that this woman does in this scene? We never want to admit that we feel like failures as a mother. We want to let everyone believe that we got it all covered. If we just keep pushing and trying to do it all then eventually it will fall into place, right? WRONG! What do your kids and husband really need? Do they need a spotless house with dinner at 5:30 on the dot every night? No they don’t.
They need you, just you.
No one cares if dinner ends up being late and bedtime gets pushed by an hour. I’m actually pretty sure that your kids will love you even more for letting them stay up late. It’s time for us, as mothers, to loosen the reigns a bit. I know it’s not easy to do because I am a total control freak. If you watch this movie then I am this mom in the clip. It wasn’t until I started handing some responsibility over to my husband and even the kids that I was able to chill out a bit. I still have my “moments” but life is much easier when I don’t try to control everything.
At the end of this clip, Trace Adkins (Bones) says:
Y’all spend so much time beating yourselves up. Must be exhausting. Let me tell you somethin’ girl. I doubt the good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the mama he did. So you just be YOU. He’ll take care of the rest.
It is exhausting! It’s time we realize that we are enough! God made us and he chose to give us the kid(s) that he did because he knows what we are capable of. There is a reason your kid(s) are YOURS!
We don’t have to have it all figured out, even though we think we do.
It’s time you start asking for help. Make a chore list for your kids. My kids are only 3 & 5 but they make their beds, get themselves dressed, brush their teeth (I simply supervise), put their shoes on and even help make their breakfast. It doesn’t matter if their beds aren’t made perfectly and you can straighten clothes after they put them on. Perfection is not necessary, your piece of mind is! Make a list of chores for your spouse as well. I know most of us stay at home moms think we have to do all of the household chores but we don’t! Doing the dishes after dinner, making dinner 2-3 times a week, mowing the lawn, cleaning bathrooms…these are all chores that your spouse can and should help you with. If you like things done a certain way then show your spouse. That goes for your kids also.
Above all, learn to give yourself some grace and quit expecting perfection.
Quit worrying about what other mothers are doing and how well they are doing it. Those are not your kids and you are not that mother. You don’t know the struggles that other mothers are facing. And believe me, every mother is facing struggles. It’s hard work raising kids. You don’t know if you are doing a good job until they are older and making their own decisions. I can say this though, if you are giving it your best and you love your children more than anything then you are doing a GREAT JOB!
There’s that saying that says, “God changes caterpillars into butterflies, sand into pearls and coal into diamonds with time and pressure”. Maybe this raising kids thing is God’s version of changing you with a little time and pressure. Hey, I’m all for becoming a diamond. 😉 Seriously though, keep your head up. Parenting isn’t for the faint of hearts so let me be the one to tell you something important…