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April 29, 2016 by heartandstripes Leave a Comment

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The situation with Afghanistan can cause a lot of issues for Veterans. Those of us who have served there, lost friends/family there or even served in the war on terrorism. Many of us came home with mental health issues that plague us to this day. I know that seeing the plane trying to leave the Kabul airport yesterday caused a lot of emotions to rise up for me. I had flashbacks to my time in Iraq and was unable to sleep. I know I am not alone in this feeling. If you receive emails from the VA then you likely got the one that I did; however, if not, I wanted to give some of the info that was received from them. Maybe it can help you or someone you may know struggling. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Veterans may question the meaning of their service or whether it was worth the sacrifices they made. They may feel more moral distress about experiences they had during their service. It’s normal to feel this way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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In reaction to current events in Afghanistan, Veterans may:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Feel frustrated, sad, helpless, grief or distressed⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Feel angry or betrayed⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Experience an increase in mental health symptoms like symptoms of PTSD or depression⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Sleep poorly, drink more or use more drugs ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Try to avoid all reminders or media or shy away from social situations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Veterans may feel like they need to expect and/or prepare for the worst. For example, they may: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Become overly protective, vigilant, and guarded ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Become preoccupied by danger⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Feel a need to avoid being shocked by, or unprepared for, what may happen in the future⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* Feeling distress is a normal reaction to negative events, especially ones that feel personal. It can be helpful to let ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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(continued in comments)

This picture sums it up for me. This flag being clutched represents so much, especially to service members and their families. These service members risked their lives to save the lives of 800 people they were able to get into that C-17. They did what they had to do (in air refuel and all) to get these Americans home safely.

While our exit from Afghanistan has been nothing short of a disaster, I can without a doubt, share in my pride for our service members.

I was over there at the start of the war and the scenes from today remind me so much of that time. I know the fear, exhaustion and all the other emotions they have endured these past few days/weeks. I hope they know that we are proud of them.

#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

I just realized that I never shared our deployment wall. Since our kids were older and understood the situation I wanted to make sure they had everything they needed to somewhat feel okay with daddy being gone. It was a very short notice deployment so I actually pulled this all together in a matter of a week. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You can see the items in the picture but I plan on doing a blog post with links to where I bought the items (other than the ones I made). So stay tuned for that post!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Have you done a deployment wall for your kids? What items did they like the most?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Here's a fun little milso game for all of you this Saturday. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Who else can black out the board? I know I sure can LOL. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

"I don't know how you do it." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The number of times a military spouse hears that is crazy. We do it because we married the man of our dreams. We do it because we married our best friend and this is the calling he had. We do it because we can't imagine a life without our spouse and seven months (or more) apart doesn't change our love for them. If anything, it makes it stronger! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Instead of questioning us or comparing your spouses work trip to our spouse's deployment; simply ask "Is there anything I can help you with?" Show up with a ready made meal and just drop it off. Be a listening ear without the comparisons and advice...just listen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We do it because we love our spouse and support their calling so just support us. I promise, supporting us will return full force when you need it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

I will always remember the day that my therapist said "You don't have to answer." Crazy right?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Why is it that we feel like we always have to be available? We feel bad if we don't answer a text or phone call right away. What we need to focus on is our mental health in regards to answering. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What I mean is that if answering that text or phone call will hinder your mental health in any way then DO NOT ANSWER! For me, my mental health requires as much peace as possible. If that phone call, text, even email will in any way mess with my peace then I don't answer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This thought process can be used for more than just your mental health. If you are having family time and your phone is going off with notifications, it's okay to not look and to not answer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you needed permission, this is it! It's not coming from me, it's coming from my therapist if that makes you feel better. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes #mentalhealth #anxiety #PTSD

If this picture doesn't say FREEDOM then I don't know what does?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I took this picture when we were at the zoo in Florida. My husband, kids and myself just stood looking at this magnificent creature in awe for a long time. As we walked away my oldest said "mom, when I get a phone I want that picture as my screen saver". I was kind of taken back by that comment but then I realized that both my kids have grown up as military kids. They see the pride and amazement that is the USA and for that I am beyond grateful. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So to that, I will say GOD BLESS AMERICA!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

No matter the situation, I still have DREAMS and I WILL hustle until they come true. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm digging deep the next couple of months and will be hustling to make those dreams a reality. I only have a few years before my husband retires so there's a lot to accomplish!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Start hustling for those dreams!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Two months ago all of our belongings were packed and drove off in an 18 wheeler. It's been two months without my bed, my couch, my coffee pot....EVERYTHING! We still have no idea where it all is either. The system that they "track" it in is not updating so that last update we have is when it was all still in the US. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So for all of my amazing non-military peeps, imagine packing your entire life up and watching it drive away with no idea when you will see it again. Scary right? Well that is our military life every three years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm no stranger to this feeling; however, it doesn't make things any easier. We have had to go out and buy a lot of things to get us by. Things that I could use for my kids to start school this month, I had to go buy because we don't know if they will have our shipment here in time. We are using borrowed furniture (extremely uncomfortable but we are making do), bought the bare necessities for kitchen supplies and making do without a lot of other things. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Please pray that our shipment arrives soon! This mama needs her stuff and I really want to have my kids feel settled before starting the school year. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

IT'S FRIDAY YA'LL!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We have made it through the week so it's time to celebrate that! Pop some champagne (or wine, or beer) and celebrate the weekend. You deserve it!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

When I look at this picture of me and my kids, I see all the flaws in my body. I see things I need to work on. My husband sees a wonderful and loving mom (according to his post when he took this) and my kids see excitement and joy as well as safety because mom is by their side. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Isn't it sad that I don't initially see the things that my family sees looking at this picture? It's because of that I decided to post it. I decided that I am going to work really hard on not seeing my flaws and instead focus on and try to see what my family sees. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We need to do better. We need to be better about our judgements of ourselves. We need to look at pictures like this and see that we are being a great mom by taking our kids to an event they really enjoy. We need to see the comfort and safety that our kids feel holding our hand. And we need to see the beauty that our husbands see because for me, I have two daughters watching that I would NEVER want to look at a picture and see flaws because they are BEAUTIFUL!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Remember who is watching you and more importantly, remember that you are doing an amazing job! Love yourself!!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

It's Wednesday and my husband is back to work in office now. That means even though I am sleeping horribly, I still have to get up and take care of the kiddos. So on that note, hand me all the coffee....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Oh wait...we still don't have our household goods so no coffee pot and no vehicle to drive myself to Starbucks. PCSing is for the BIRDS! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Shipping your POV through the VPC can be extremely overwhelming when you haven't done it before. I am a planner and I am not the military member so I felt left out of the loop and in an extreme unknown. To help all those military spouses out there I wanted to provide a look inside the process and what needs to get done. Go check it out on my blog and feel free to comment with any questions you may have. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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PSA: This is my third time going through the VPC process and our vehicle has now arrived to the port here. While I am not an expert, I am very familiar with the process. We have used 3 different VPC's as well so I know they are all ran pretty much the exact same way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Hopefully it's helpful for all of you going through this experience for the first time or even those who haven't done it in many years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Even during the struggle there is always good, you just have to look for it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I've already shared that I am having some pretty serious anxiety this move but I keep trying to see the good in the situation. My family is with me and we are all safe and healthy. We have a nice roof over our head and one of our vehicles arrives this week. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This is just a moment in time and eventually I will get my anxiety back to a manageable level. Until then, I will keep looking for the good. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Bonus to accepting a home on base before our arrival....there is a park a couple of houses down and the kids have been able to go almost daily. They have already made friends with the kids two houses down as well. Some people don't understand our decision to live on base when we could live in the German community but we chose to do what is best for our children. A lot of people don't know that when we were stationed in Belgium we had no option to live on base. While it was a great experience, our kids were much younger. They learned to speak Dutch and could speak with our neighbors and it was wonderful. However, we are not in that position anymore. Our kids will be attending a DODEA school (English speaking) therefore they won't be exposed to German near as much. We wanted to ensure our kids had prime opportunity to play and speak with American kids their age. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We also took into account that when/if COVID restrictions lessen then my husband will be going on TDYs throughout the AOR. I honestly feel better being on base when he's gone and that is even stateside. It's a comfort thing for me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Lastly, we took into account that this is either our last or our second to last duty station. Living on base allows us to put as much money aside as possible so that we are set for retirement. When I say that, I mean we are looking to build our forever home on land and therefore want to have a good lump sum for a downpayment. I say all of this because every military family faces these decision and often are questioned on why they chose to do what they did. If I share this with you and it helps you make the best decision for your family then I'm happy to do it! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse

I’m trying so very hard to live by these words. Yes, it’s definitely easier said than done but I challenge you to be on this journey with me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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(Don’t mistake grace for boring though! We all need some humor so be on the lookout for some reels from me soon!) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

This move has been rough on my anxiety. In all honesty, I expected it. Even though we are in our home we don’t have our household goods, school starts in less than a month and I still don’t have my bearings of where everything is. This uneasy feeling causes me major anxiety. It’s a trigger for me and I know that.

I have done everything I can to ensure we are as comfortable and set up as we can be but that doesn’t change my anxiety. If you live with it then you understand that. Luckily my husband has learned that even though he doesn’t deal with anxiety, if I tell him I’m dealing with it then he just lets me do what I need to.

Right now it’s causing my sleep patterns to be totally off. I can’t go to sleep until 4-5 am every day. Thank goodness my husband had been working from home so he’s been able to take care of the girls but days like today it’s rough. We had to be up at 7 am for appointments and I didn’t get to sleep until 4:30 am. I’m wiped!

So how am I getting through it? I am telling myself that this feeling is only temporary. While it’s all consuming right now, it won’t last forever. I take deep breathes and I listen to my body. After these appointments today, I’m going to take a nice long nap. I am making good food to nourish my body and I continue to take my meds.

My life has been turned all around and upside down theoretically, so it’s no wonder that I’m triggered. However, I’m strong, I’m with my family, and this is only temporary.

Just pray that I can get some good sleep soon please! 💕

#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage

#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Be unstoppable! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Y'all, this book is SOOOO good! I love all of the books by authorabbyjimenez but this one got me good. I bought it for our plane ride over to Germany but ended up flying through it. I laughed, I cried, I got mad...I went through every emotion while reading it. My husband kept asking me if I was okay LOL. He's not a reader so he just doesn't get it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Seriously though, GO GET THIS BOOK! I'd offer mine up but I am sure I will be re-reading it soon.

My entire life I have been a people pleaser. I always said yes, always did everything for everyone else and just all around was more worried about the happiness of others than myself. That is NOT a good way to live. It's exhausting! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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But be honest, have any of us automatically been ourselves and said "forget what other people think of me"? I will venture to say no and that majority of us start out people pleasing. We have a desire to be liked and sometimes that means we alter who we authentically are. As I have gotten older and as I have traveled the world being a military spouse I have realized how damaging that is to me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you aren't being your authentic self then your friends aren't really your friends. How can you connect and really get to know someone who isn't showing who they really are. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Listen, I'm going to get real with you right now. You aren't meant to have this huge (too many to count) number of best friends. I am not saying you should only have a limited number of friends but I am saying that the ones you have should know the authentic you. If you are lucky enough to make 100 friends who accept the authentic you then that is amazing! However, if you are more like me, then you take your smaller group of friends and enjoy the fact that they know, understand and love the me that I am. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I don't have to be happy all the time. I don't have to speak a certain way. I don't even have to talk around them. They get me and I get them. Isn't that more important than the number of "friends" you have?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Don't be afraid to be the authentic you! Do it FEARLESSLY!!!

Okay, lets hear it from all the military spouses who are in the middle of a PCS and just want some dang wine! The day after we got into our home here in Germany there was a bazaar on base so OF COURSE I had to go! I picked up some great local wine and was so excited to drink it. We don't have our household goods yet so we couldn't open the bottle but my husband came to the rescue and hit up the gas station on base. Of course we don't have wine glasses but luckily we had this awesome cup from Magnolia that we brought with us. So I drank wine from a cup and gave no *****! LOL⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I see all of you amazing military spouses out there! This PCS stuff is for the birds but we rock it like it's nothing!

Storms come and go and sometimes it's a constant rotation. Many of us, myself included, try to stop the storm. We try to fix whatever is causing that storm. For me, that's just who I am but I have had to re-evaluate that. My anxiety only gets worse if I am focusing on the storm and fixing that instead of focusing on myself. Find peace and calm yourself. When you do that then you are able to weather the storm and it will pass much more quickly than if your only focus is on the storm.

New post up on the blog! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Sorry it's taken so long to get this up but I started it before the move and then things got insanely busy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I wanted to provide you all with some great lessons learned as well as some tips that I have learned along the way. This is geared towards military PCS but anyone utilizing packers could utilize it as well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I am working on the next post that will be helpful for military PCS as well. Keep a lookout.

How can others love you if you don't love yourself? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Not only should you love yourself, you should love yourself FIERCELY! You are worth that love from yourself and others!

OCONUS PCS Tip...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The Foreign Clearance Guide has changed recently. If you do not have your No-Fee Passports (issued through your base/post passport office) then you MUST have your tourist passports and a memorandum from your base/post passport office stating that you have applied for your No-Fee Passports. The rotator flights will deny you if you don't have these items and you run the risk of the country not letting you in if you fly commercial and go through immigration. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Also, make sure your name matches on all documents. I had an extra letter in my boarding pass due to it being fat fingered when scheduled through the travel office on base. Luckily we caught it and it was changed at the terminal before I received my final boarding pass. If your names don't match on your boarding pass, no-fee passport and military ID they can (and likely will) deny you entry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My best advice is that you head strait to apply (or correct information) for you tourist passport as soon as you received notification of orders OCONUS. Once you have done that then proceed with medical clearance so that you can get your hard orders ASAP. AS SOON AS you get your hard orders schedule an appointment with your on base passport office and apply for your No-Fee passports. This will help to ensure you have plenty of time to get your no-fee ones back in time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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PCSing OCONUS is difficult and confusing and I understand that more than a lot of people. I promise a blog post is coming soon to help with that! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What information for OCONUS PCSing would you like to see in the blog post?

"Just train the mind and the body will follow." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I was watching Celebrity IOU on HGTV the other day and Kevin Hart was redoing his trainer's man cave as a thank you for helping him walk again after his tragic car accident. When the trainer saw the surprise he was beyond words but what really got me was when the brothers asked the trainer what that quote meant to him. He responded with something along the lines that everything you do starts in your mind. If you have success in your mind then you will accomplish it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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So what is it that you want to do? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Is there a business you want to start?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Is there a new workout program you want to start?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you want to eat healthier?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Are there places you want to travel to?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You need to do the things you have been wanting to do and you need to do it for you, not for anyone else. Push yourself outside of your boundaries and train your mind for success. Once you do that your body will follow.

PCS Tip...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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When we lived in Belgium we traveled back stateside MANY times. My husband and I figured it out that throughout 4 years of being stationed there, we flew that long flight 9 times. NINE TIMES! That's a lot! Unfortunately, many of those flights were due to deaths in the family. While the circumstances were unfortunate, those trips were learning experiences. I was able to learn that the way you pack makes baggage claim either a good experience or a horrible experience....especially when you have kids! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I plan on doing a detailed post about packing and navigating the airport when PCSing. Until I get that up, here are a few tips:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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*Use military duffle bags! You can fit so much in them (especially when you roll your clothes). Not a single one of our bags was over 50 pounds and we each have 4 weeks worth of clothes in them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*One duffle per family member and then a miscellaneous bag. That duffle is the one with the bathroom stuff, extra shoes, meds, etc.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Get rolling backpacks for the kids for a carry on. They will get tired of wearing a backpack so the rolling part is life saving and most of them fit under the seat in front of them therefore easily accessible. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Buy covers for your car seats or booster seats. Doing this makes it easier to carry them but ultimately that means you can sneak a few things in with the car seat. (Pillows, some books, stuffed animals, etc)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Bungee Cords are LIFE! I despise having to pay $6 for a luggage cart (USO has free ones but they run out and it's just easier to grab one closer). All 5 of our duffle bags are on one luggage cart. We bungee corded the bottom 4 onto this cart and the 5th one is just sitting on top. Then we used a bungee cord on the back to hold the booster seats. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Make electronics easily accessible for TSA!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Lastly, use the military style backpacks for yourself and yourself. (More comfortable!)

So many people give specific lists of what self care is; however, I believe that self care depends on the person. What do you do that makes you feel more like yourself? Some people might go shopping while others might go to the gym. I personally like grabbing a book and curling up in a quiet area to read while I drink some coffee or a glass of wine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You decide what self care is for you. Does it make you feel better? Are you happier when you are done? Then you are on the right track for you and that is what matters.

I found this picture online recently and saved it to my phone. (Sorry I can't give credit to who it belongs to as I just saved the photo.) It was so important to me that I save it and share with with you all because I feel like these days people make it seem like you should never depend on your spouse. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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As military families, we are often extremely far from all of our families. We only have our spouse and the network of people we make at our current duty location. We rely, or dare I say depend, on our spouse. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For me, I have always depended on my husband. He is my best friend. He is my rock on the hard days and he is my biggest supporter with any new adventure I start. However, I couldn't do any of this without my husband. When I have to step up my business game then he steps in and takes on things with the kids and house. If he deploys then it's my turn to step in and take it all. We are a team and in a team you depend on your teammates. It's okay, actually it's a requirement of a team, to depend on your teammate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Me depending on my husband does not mean that I can't function without him. It's actually the opposite. I can hold the fort down and keep everything moving because I depend on my husband. When he deployed for seven months recently, I did it all. We had Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, our oldest daughter's birthday and even Mother's Day without my husband. I got it all done on my own. Once he was home it went back to teamwork. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I always look at it through the viewpoint of my grandparents who have been married for a VERY long time. I have never seen my grandmother not depend on my grandfather. Maybe this world needs a bit more of that....but that's just my opinion.

There are so many things that I am grateful for but these are focused on this PCS....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I am grateful for:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* a safe and uneventful road trip from Utah down to Florida.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* the time we got to spend with our families before leaving for a few years.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* that Hurricane Elsa did not effect our flights from Florida to Baltimore.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* flying out on the rotator before the COVID testing ended. We tried getting our daughters tested downtown but the results didn't come in before we flew out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* that our kids tested negative so we didn't have to miss our flight. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* that since our home was not ready for occupancy, housing ensured we had a TLF room to lay our heads in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* that I have an amazing husband who kept me sane through this whole move.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* that our kids did amazing on a seven hour flight....I mean they slept 6 of the hours!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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* having my husband's sponsor there to pick up us when we flew in, drive us all to our TLF and then taking my husband to the grocery store so we could have some food for a few days. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There are so many things to be grateful for during this PCS. While it's not the easiest and being here with no vehicle and stuck in TLF for days, I know it's a temporary thing and we will get through it. I have to focus on the things I am grateful for and keep a positive outlook.

Total geek out moment for me was driving to Waco, Texas knowing that I would get to visit this awesome place. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Some might not know this but I have big business plans when my husband retires and visiting Waco was a huge step in helping me plan for that future project. We aren't far off from retirement (maybe one more assignment after this one) so it's essential that I take the next few years while we are in Germany to get my business plan together and start designing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Going to Magnolia allowed me to take pictures, explore styles and get design ideas which might work for my business. And no, I'm not spoiling it and telling you what I plan on doing lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Military life can be daunting and when you get to the point that you start planning for life AFTER the military it's exciting. It can also be pretty scary so preparing is essential. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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What do you think I am planning to do as a business?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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*** If you know me and know the answer to this question then you aren't allowed to answer ****

Social media and pretty much everything on the internet is a highlight reel. Most people don't share the bad or ugly part of their lives. They like to make it look like everything is 100% all of the time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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While I try hard not to do that, some might say that my life is "perfect". Let me assure you that it's not and while I try to post some of the hard times, I don't always do that because while I choose to put my life out there....not everyone in my life has chose to do that. I try to be respectful of others in my life. So in essence, you get a highlight reel of my life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Do you think it's fair to compare your whole life (highs and lows) to someone else when you don't know everything going on in their life? No, it's not fair. You can't compare yourself to others and especially strangers on the internet! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My best advice is that you life in the moments of your life and take things as they come. Tackle each obstacle head on and share when you defeat it. Don't look to others, they aren't you and they aren't going through what you are. Everyone's journey is unique so you can't compare yours to anyone else.

PCS Tip...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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As your kids get older each PCS gets a little harder on them. They have to leave friends behind and while we can explain that with today's technology they can keep in touch, they may not believe it or know that only the closest ones will actually hold true to keeping in touch. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For us, and our kids, we decided that they needed to make a list. A bucket list of sorts if you will. We wanted to know what they would want to do or see on our leave before heading over to Germany. While they had many things on their lists, the one thing that wasn't was a Professional Woman's Soccer game. Our oldest is a huge fan of Alex Morgan and we happen to be visiting family just outside of Orlando so we surprised her with tickets to the Orlando Pride game. Unfortunately for us, Alex Morgan was not playing when we went because she was heading out to Tokyo for the Olympics but it was still a great time. Throughout this leave time we have made multiple stops to do or see things on their lists. It's helped them say "goodbye" to the US for the next few years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I highly recommend doing this if you are PCSing. It doesn't matter if you are going states away or countries away, being taken from your friends is extremely hard on the kids. Having a list of things to look forward to helps ease that transition. If nothing else, it tires them out as well LOL.

I have to say, an overseas PCS has a way of testing you. The craziness of packing your whole life up and sending it across the world is trying and probably one of the scariest things you can do. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I remember the first time we did it and we had a 10 month old and a 2 year old. Can you imagine packing enough clothes, diapers, bottles, and everything else to survive 30-60 without your whole house? Then pack enough food and bottles for a toddler and baby for a 10+ hour flight! It was insane! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Now I have older kids which cuts out a lot of the space taking items but it's still a struggle. Most civilians (non military) don't understand what it's like to live 60 days without their entire life. Our families don't think anything of it that we go months living out of 1-2 suitcases each. The simple pleasures of life are not available to us for months at a time. Heck, there are so many times that us military spouses think we just can do it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Truth is though, WE ARE STRONG! We are strong enough to do it and that is why God made us military spouses. We plan, we pack and we push through because we love our military member and while we don't necessary love this moving every couple of years thing, we do love our spouse. We will follow them to every corner of the world if it means we get to be together, so we pack our entire life every 3 or so years and we go where the military sends us. We are STRONG and we are STRONG ENOUGH to be military spouses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You got this!

This PCS has definitely been a trying one, even though we have done an OCONUS PCS before and knew what to expect. You know that saying, "You make plans and God laughs". Yeah well that's kind of our motto these past couple of months. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Last time we moved OCONUS we only shipped one vehicle and that went through the military/VPC. This time we decided to ship both our vehicles. Needless to say, we have had a lot of lessons learned through this process. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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The VPC shipping is straight forward and once scheduled it goes pretty smoothly (as long as you have your documents when you arrive). We knew what to do for that and we were very prepared. Shipping our second vehicle has been a totally different story. After 3 months of working with a company to get it picked up, we were informed of requirements days before our pick up date that wouldn't allow for it to be picked up prior to us flying out! We literally had to drive it almost three hours away to the port to get it dropped off before we fly out. Luckily we were able to drive it and the company at the port (not the same as the one we use to schedule it) was super friendly and easy to work with. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's been an insane process that has inspired me to write a whole blog post on shipping a second vehicle. The process for this highly used company is broken and had my husband and I very frustrated. It's not something I want other military members and spouses to go through. So be on the lookout for an upcoming blog post. Hopefully it will help other's moves go smoothly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This difficult process has inspired me to write this post because it's a process I experienced. I don't personally experience some other processes so I am curious, what process would you like to see a post on that would help with your PCS? Drop the topics in the comments below so I can get to work!

Therapy! Yes, I know, I say this word a lot and I will continue to do so!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I have been seeing my current therapist for eight years now. Yes, you read that right. EIGHT years! I honestly do not know where my life would be had I not found her. I had my appointment last week and we were discussing things and she kept pointing out how in the situations I was telling her about, I had enacted my coping mechanisms or I had stuck to a boundary that I had set. It felt like such a huge accomplishment to me that now these things came naturally when eight years ago it was such a struggle for me. At the end of our session my therapist looked at me and said "you are so much happier now". It felt like I was on top of the world in that moment!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Eight years ago I was a mess and that is not an exaggeration. When I posted yesterday about giving and giving but never taking care of me, I was not kidding. I was depleted and had been for so many years. Add into that my PTSD and anxiety and I felt that I was under ten feet of water. I had two young kids and a husband and I knew that was not the version of me they deserved and I didn't deserve to feel that way. It was time for a CHANGE. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Flash forward eight years and I now have boundaries set with the people in my life (family and friends), I have coping mechanisms for my PTSD and anxiety struggles, and I understand the word NO. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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It's not an easy journey and it's A LOT of work but I started to change on the inside. Once those changes happened on the inside....things changed around me too. It's a worthwhile journey that I am so glad I started. It's also not over. I will never be perfect and I will never stop working on me. I still have really high anxiety and my PTSD is still a huge struggle for me; however, I have learned my triggers and I utilize the tools I have to get through those struggles. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I'm getting my First Class treatment! Are you?

Happy Independence Day!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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You have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness so GET TO IT! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Happy 4th of July....be safe out there!

I follow @seanwwhalen and recently he posted about a blog post that @markevansdm wrote. As I read the post it really hit home for me in a lot of ways. Here's a part of what Sean wrote:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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"He talked about flying first class vs coach. The long and short of it is that we want to be treated like first class, and we want to do business and work with people in first class, but we treat ourselves like coach. We spend the least but expect the most. We cut coupons but expect to be paid top notch. Basically, we want the FIRST CLASS LIFE but only invest in the coach seats."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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For me it wasn't the literal take on it. I understand the business side and yes it definitely should be taken literal by business owners. For me, I took it to heart in the symbolic fashion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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We need to treat our bodies and mind in a first class manner. I personally used to run my cup dry and still give and give to everyone around me. I was always giving but never taking care of myself. I was treating everyone else as first class but treating myself as coach. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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That is not right and you are the only one that pays for it down the road. My mental health journey took a huge turn when I decided that my husband, kids and myself were the priority. I deserve the best! If I have anything left over after taking care of those people then I will give but if I don't then it's okay to say no. You deserve first class and your family deserves for you to feel your best. When you treat yourself in a first class manner then your mental health begins to change for the better. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Bottom line....YOU DESERVE THE BEST. YOU DESERVE FIRST CLASS!

PCS Tip….⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Utilize the military green duffles to pack! I know it sounds kind of crazy but after an overseas PCS, a PCS back stateside and multiple trips back to the states during our last OCONUS assignment I have learned a few things. It’s amazing how much stuff you can fit into these green duffles, especially when you roll your clothes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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This PCS we are taking leave in route to visit family but instead of flying we decided a family road trip was in order. We shipped our SUV from the VPC early so we could only pack what would fit into our sedan. Needless to say, I stressed out about it because I wasn’t sure we could fit everything we needed. I went to clothing and sales and picked up the new style of green duffles. These have a zipper down the whole side of the bag. It’s very handy so we don’t have to worry about what we need being on the bottom. Each of our family members have one of those duffles and then I have one regular (old style) duffle which has shoes, bathroom stuff and any miscellaneous items. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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All five of these duffles fit into the trunk of our Altima and I packed enough clothes for 20-30 days for each of us plus my husband has his uniform and boots packed in his bag. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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These bags have been a life saver for us this PCS and I know they can be helpful for you as well, especially if you are limited on space.

Sundays are the perfect days to unplug and spend some quality, device free, time. It can be with family, friends or by yourself if that’s what you need. It doesn’t have to be all day. Start by trying it for a couple hours and keep going if it feels good. You will be amazed at the difference it can make.