It’s no secret that I love to read, and that my mornings go better when they start slow with coffee, a little quiet, and something that feeds my spirit before the day asks anything of me. That gentle rhythm has done more for my anxiety over the years than almost anything else. So when I first crossed paths with author Jen McDonald in a blogging group years ago and she asked for a few people to review her new book, I practically raised both hands. A 30-day devotional written for military spouses, by a military spouse? It belonged in my morning routine before I’d read a single page.
I’m so glad I said yes! Partly because the book became a steady companion, and partly because I had no idea, back then, where that little “yes” would lead. Years later, Jen and I are genuinely friends. She’s had me on her Milspouse Matters podcast, and a piece of my own story even found its way into her writing. The book that once whispered you are not alone to a tired young Air Force wife came all the way back around. That’s the kind of thing that still makes my eyes sting a little.
So consider this both a review and a love letter to a book, and a friendship, that has walked a long way with me.
Meet Jen McDonald
If you’re going to take devotional advice from someone, it ought to be someone who’s actually lived the life. Jen has. She was married to the military for nearly three decades, right up through her Air Force husband’s retirement. She’s a mother of four, including a son now serving in the Air Force himself, and over the years she and her family were stationed all over the globe, from Europe to the Pacific.
Jen has written for Military Spouse Magazine and been published in places like Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and Chicken Soup for the Soul, and she spent five years hosting the Milspouse Matters podcast, encouraging spouses one conversation at a time. (The podcast has since wrapped, but the heart behind it never did. She’s now an award-winning author of two books and is even stepping into fiction.) Through all of it runs a strong, steady Christian faith, which as a fellow military spouse of faith, I can tell you is not always the easy road but it’s everything.
In other words: she’s been in the trenches of this life, and it shows on every page.
What’s Inside You Are Not Alone
The book is built as 30 daily readings, each one short enough to fit into a real morning (five to ten minutes, honestly) yet substantial enough to sit with all day. What I loved is how thoughtfully Jen structured each reading. Every day follows the same comforting rhythm:
- A quote to set the tone. (I keep a little chalkboard in my kitchen, and I started copying each day’s quote onto it every morning. It became its own small ritual.)
- A personal story from Jen’s own military life that ties to the day’s theme. It’s honest, warm, and so relatable.
- “Basic Training for Spouses” is her practical, been-there advice for handling the same situation or feeling if it ever lands on you. Even all these years and a full military retirement later, I still pick up wisdom from these sections.
- Scripture — a verse or two to anchor the day in faith.
- “Think About It” — guided journaling prompts, if you want to go deeper. (Take as long or as little as you like.)
- A short prayer to close which, for me, is the perfect way to start a day.
The writing is faith-centered without being heavy-handed, and the whole thing reads like sitting across the table from a friend who truly gets it.
My Favorite Reading: “Embracing Where You Live”
If I had to pick one reading that felt like Jen had reached into my head and put my own thoughts on paper, it’s the one called Embracing Where You Live.
My husband and I had some version of this exact conversation more times than I can count during our years of moving. I knew so many spouses who spent entire assignments counting down the days … I can’t wait until this one’s over, or why did I even come, he should’ve gone alone. I always understood the exhaustion underneath it, but it broke my heart a little, because every one of those places had something to offer if you let it. We tried to treat each duty station as a new adventure, knowing none of it was permanent anyway. In a few years we’d be somewhere else entirely, missing the very place we couldn’t wait to leave.
Jen’s encouragement in this reading lands exactly there. She’s honest that moving on is never easy, and then she gently nudges you to step outside, meet people, get to know the locals, and let military life be the adventure it’s capable of being. It’s wisdom I wish I’d had sooner, and wisdom I still lean on now that the moving days are behind us.
Who This Book Is For
Short answer: every military spouse, in every season.
Whether you’re brand new to this life or a salty veteran of a dozen PCS moves, whether you’re staring down a deployment, wrangling military kids, or feeling that strange wobble as retirement approaches … this book meets you there. One thing I’ve learned is that being a seasoned spouse doesn’t mean this life ever gets easy. I’ve known spouses with twenty years in who struggle just as much as the ones on their first assignment. We’ve all been there, or we will be.
That’s the quiet magic of this book. It reminds you that whatever you’re carrying, someone has carried it too and made it through.
How I Still Use It
These days my “duty station” is a quiet life in South Georgia, my combat boots are long retired, and my girls are teenagers instead of toddlers. But the morning rhythm this book helped me build is still with me. The slow start, the quote on the chalkboard, the verse, the small prayer before the noise of the day … it steadies me. For anyone whose anxiety runs high (mine certainly has its seasons), there’s real grounding in a predictable, gentle morning that points your heart somewhere bigger than your worry.
A Gentle Reminder: You Really Aren’t Alone
The title of this book is also just true and I never want to leave a fellow spouse holding more than they should carry by themselves.
If military life has you stretched thin … deployment, a hard move, loneliness, anxiety, grief, or just one of those seasons … please know support is there, and reaching for it is a strength, not a failure. Military OneSource offers free, confidential support 24/7 for service members and their families (including National Guard and Reserve): call 800-342-9647 or connect through live chat at MilitaryOneSource.mil. You don’t have to white-knuckle this life alone. None of us do.
Where to Get You Are Not Alone
The book is available in paperback, Kindle, and as an audiobook, so you can read it with your coffee or listen on your next commissary run. 👉 You Are Not Alone: Encouragement for the Heart of a Military Spouse
And please go say hello to Jen. She is every bit as warm as her book. You can find her writing, her books, and her Milspouse Matters archives over at jen-mcdonald.com.
If you’ve read You Are Not Alone, I’d love to hear your favorite reading or piece of advice in the comments. Let’s keep building each other up because we really are stronger together.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission if you purchase through them, at no extra cost to you. I only ever recommend books and products I genuinely use and love. Thank you for supporting Heart & Stripes.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is You Are Not Alone about? It’s a 30-day devotional written specifically for military spouses, offering faith-centered encouragement for the realities of military life like deployments, moves, raising military kids, and everything in between. Each reading pairs a personal story with practical tips, Scripture, journaling prompts, and a short prayer.
Who wrote it? Jen McDonald, who was a military spouse for nearly 30 years and is the author of two books for the military community, as well as the former host of the Milspouse Matters podcast.
Is it a Christian book? Yes. Each reading is written from a perspective of faith and includes related Scripture and a guided prayer, while staying warm and accessible.
How long does each reading take? Just five to ten minutes each day, which makes it easy to fold into a morning routine. The optional journaling can take as long as you’d like.
Is it only for new military spouses? Not at all. It’s written for spouses in every season whether they are brand new, deeply seasoned, and even those approaching retirement. The encouragement applies across the whole journey.
Where can I buy it? It’s available on Amazon in paperback, Kindle, and audiobook formats. You can also connect with the author at jen-mcdonald.com.
NOTE: This post was originally published in September 2016 and has been updated to reflect where my family, and this beautiful friendship, are today. The heart of it hasn’t changed one bit: you are not alone.
Thanks for the share! I’m going to put this on my “MUST READ” list!
It does sound like a great read!
~Sam
You definitely should add it to your list. It’s a quick daily read that really helps you get through some of the many challenges we face as military spouses. I think you will definitely enjoy it. <3