• Home
  • About Me
  • Contact
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Bloglovin
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

Heart & Stripes

A Milso Blog

  • Military
    • Military Spouse
    • Veteran
    • Anxiety
    • PTSD
    • Military Resources
      • Veteran & Active
      • Military Spouses
  • Motherhood
    • Stay At Home Mom
    • Faith
    • Fashion
    • Fitness
  • Recipes
    • Breakfast
    • Lunch
    • Dinner
    • Snacks
  • Household
    • Cleaning
    • Organization
    • Styling
    • Preparations
  • DIY
    • Home Decor
    • Kids Included
    • Parties
    • Seasonal
  • Travel
    • United States
    • Europe
  • Mompreneur
    • Personal Development
    • Mompreneur Spotlight
    • Goals
    • Resources

Top 6 Things NOT To Say To A Military Spouse

May 16, 2016 by heartandstripes 3 Comments

Two young girl having coffee break and eating ice cream

Being a military spouse isn’t easy. This life has broke many marriages while it’s also made some pretty strong ones. I’ve been married to my husband going on six years now and while that might seem like a short amount of time, it’s enough time for two kids, two promotions, selling one house, moving from Georgia all the way to Belgium and countless of “overtime” hours (not that they actually have those in the military but you get the point). In those six years, I have had my fair share of dealing with comments towards me or my family that just struck me wrong. I’m not saying that those people that said them are being malicious or anything but I do think they don’t realize how those comments resonate with me, or any military spouse. Some comments or questions are more frustrating than others. These six are my top comments or questions that I believe every non-military (or even military) should NEVER say to a military spouse.

You knew what you were getting into.

People who say this really have no concept of the military life. No matter who you are, you do not know what you are getting into before you marry into the military. I am an Army Veteran yet I still had no concept of what life as a military spouse would be like. No amount of talks, books or whatever you use to prepare yourself will help you fully understand what is entailed in this life. I am not saying I didn’t understand a little more than the average person what it would be like but I am saying that you can’t prepare for this life. Years of deployments, long hours at work, missed family events and picking up and moving your whole family/life every 2-3 years…you can’t possibly prepare yourself for that. I always like to say this comment towards a military spouse is like telling a new mother that she knew what she was getting into. In reality, she really didn’t know and it’s just rude to insinuate that she did. Same goes for military spouses….this comment is a sure fire way to cause the spouse to distance herself from you. Just don’t say it!

When are you coming to visit?

Lets be honest, we get this question from every family member and friend back home. They just can’t seem to help themselves. We get that as family and friends you miss seeing us and want to see our kids and so forth. Trust me, we miss you too. BUT you need to understand that coming “home” to visit isn’t a vacation. We spend all of our time making sure that everyone sees us and no one is left out. The military member gets a limited amount of time off and normally we only get one “vacation” a year, if that. If we come home every time then we don’t get time as a family. Not to mention that coming home is normally not cheap! We are a family of 4 so that’s 4 plane tickets, a rental car, maybe even a place to stay that needs to be paid for. Many times flying Space A (military flights) isn’t an option because there is no guarantee you can get on the flight…meaning you could end up not getting back to base within your allotted time. Instead of asking when we are coming to visit, how about you plan a visit to come see us! Getting a long weekend off is easier to swing for the military member than an actual vacation. Just make sure you let us know when you are coming so we can ensure that there aren’t any mission requirements during that time frame.

My husband goes on business trips, I know how you feel.

Sorry but your husband’s business trips can’t really compare to the anxiety and fears we face when our spouse is deployed to a hostile and very dangerous place. There really is no comparison unless your husband is a civilian contractor or something along those lines. If that’s the case then we consider you one of us and you know that this statement is a big no, no! We also have love and compassion for law enforcement since they face the same kind of fears we do…but again you know that this statement isn’t to be made to a military spouse. If your husband takes business trips then just try saying that you understand being lonely and offer to help with our kids or just come hang out and drink some wine with us. Whatever you do, do not compare a business trip to a deployment!

I don’t know how you do it.

Trust me, we don’t know how we do it either! This life isn’t for the weak. Some days it takes every bit of will power we have just to make it through the day without breaking down into tears. Heck, my husband isn’t even deployed and last week is the most I have cried in a long time. We do it because we love our spouse and we are proud of their accomplishments along with the pride of being married to someone who is willing to fight for this country and our rights. We do it because we have a family to take care of and our kids do not need to see us breaking down every day. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, this life is not for the weak. It takes a STRONG person to marry a military member. We do it because we have to! We don’t need you reminding us how tough this life is by making this statement. Instead, just tell us you appreciate our sacrifices or that you admire how we push through.

It must be nice to be a stay at home mom since he makes so much money.

I have no idea where people get the idea that military members make so much money. I mean, if you are single with no kids then I can see where it might seem that way. It even is a comfortable income as long as it’s a two income family. The problem is, most military spouses end up being stay at home moms because when you move every 2-3 years it’s hard to find a job. It’s a funny thing about that…businesses don’t really like to know that they are hiring someone that will be leaving within 2 years or so. Granted, they don’t pass up hiring you for that reason “officially” because that’s against the law but the typical response is, “We hired a more qualified person.” Then of course there are the duty stations (overseas) that the spouses aren’t allowed to work in accordance to the SOFA (Status of Forces Agreement). I know that people often give you the pay for a new military member but to show my point I want to give you the current base pay for an E5 that’s been in over 6 years. This is the rank for when I was about to get out of the military in 2010, but with the 2016 pay chart. A military member that is an E5 and has been in over 6 years makes $33,573.60 a year base pay. That’s not very much when you are a family of 4 trying to live comfortably! Now, I know people like to bring up the housing allowance that some members get but if you live on base then you do not get that. If you are living off base then the military does provide a housing allowance that helps the members to find decent housing and that amount is based off of where your duty station is. Sometimes that amount is a big help but there are times the amount just doesn’t cover it. Now remember that the base pay I stated above is for someone who has advanced in rank AND been in at least 6 years! Think about all those military members with kids and a wife who haven’t reached that rank/time in. I recently read the following in Marketplace.org, “In 2014 more than $84 million-worth of food stamp benefits were spent at military commissaries. That’s just a fraction of a percent of all the food stamps spent in the U.S. last year. But the number is sobering when you think of who is doing this spending — people who served or are currently serving our country and are still having trouble making ends meet.” If that doesn’t put to rest that our military members make so much money, then I don’t know what will!

When is he getting out?

Why is it that people assume that every military member is getting out at a certain time. Not all of them say that they will retire at 20 years or that when their 8 years are up then they are getting out. Some actually enjoy their time in the military and want to stay in as long as the military will let them. If they are anything like my husband then they have the aspirations to become an E9, one of the 1% of the Air Force to make that rank. If that means he reaches 26 years in the military then that’s what he will do. As his spouse, I am here to support him and that’s just what I will do. While this isn’t the most annoying question out of the list, it’s pretty frustrating to be asked this over and over again. It’s almost as if every person that isn’t in the military feels the need to ask us this question. Just do us a favor and avoid asking us. Often times when we feel comfortable in our friendship with you, we will discuss our future plans and it will give you the answer to this question. So just be patient and wait for us to offer it up instead of asking.

There you have it…the top 6 statements (or questions) that annoy the heck out of us military spouses. Seriously, please don’t ask or say these things to us. I know most of the time these statements are made out of love and we appreciate your support but we are just trying our hardest to be good wives, fathers, mothers, and husbands. All we need are some good friends and family to listen when we want to vent and to be there when we are lonely. To just love us and accept the path that we have taken as spouses. Just support us, that’s all we need and want.

** Make sure you subscribe to my blog so you don’t miss anything. I am working on some big stuff that you won’t want to miss! **

Save

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Print
  • Email

Related

Filed Under: Military, Military Spouse

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Comments

  1. Paul Dejong says

    May 19, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    I’ll make sure to remember these!
    Nice Blog BTW! 😉

    Reply
    • heartandstripes says

      May 19, 2016 at 4:17 pm

      Thank you! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Christina Schwartz says

    December 2, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Yes! Yes! YES!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me

About Me

I am a Veteran & Military Spouse providing encouragement, advice & support while navigating my journey as a stay at home mom living with PTSD & anxiety.

Instagram

Loading...
Focus on the LITTLE things.... Like what? ⬇️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
@heartandstripes 👈 follow⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You know, the small but necessary steps that lead up to something extraordinary. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Every step you take in your life doesn't have to be grand.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
These small tasks often turn out to have the biggest impact on our self confidence and self worth.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So this year I am most proud of these small but impactful, little things in my own life:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I survived a 7 month deployment...7 months without my best friend!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I managed to accomplish (by myself) all the tasks for us to PCS overseas while he was on deployment!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I recognized triggers with my mental health and immediately took action with my therapy and even my medications. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I dared to….⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Take control of the unknown. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Find my self confidence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Take charge of my mental health. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And you can too!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Make sure you're following along so don't miss these little moments of inspiration. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👇🏽 Tag a friend & share in the comments what you are most proud of in your life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Today was my baking day. 🍪⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Every year I like to make a bunch of baked goods as our family’s Christmas gifts to my husband’s coworkers. So today, after dropping the kids at school, I got to work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The last six hours I’ve spent baking away and now all I have to do it put the goodie boxes together. To me it’s time well spent and now I can check off another major box on my to do list. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ve actually checked off a lot of boxes lately and actually feel like this Christmas season is one of the most relaxed ones I’ve had in MANY years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What is left on your to do list?
Seriously though! Just stop! Do what fulfills you and if it doesn’t then don’t do it. 🤷🏻‍♀️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Take Christmas back! (Anyone catch the Bad Moms Christmas vibe from that?) 🎅🏻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
The end is near! 🥳 😃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Why am I celebrating? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Because there's something I truly can't wait to experience in 2022.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For me, it's another year closer to retirement, which means a year closer to my dreams coming to life. My husband and I made a deal before we got married. I wanted to support him and his dream in the Air Force until he reached the point he was ready to retire. Once we got to that point, it was my turn to start the business that I have always wanted to. We are now just a couple of years away from that and I am so excited!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am looking forward to it also because I have so much planned for my blog/website. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Growth...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Self Care...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Dreams...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here I come! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Alright friends, the end is near for you too - what's one exciting thing you are gearing up for in 2022?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Tag a friend, and drop your favorite activity that’s coming up on your upcoming calendar. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes #2022herewecome
Dream BIG or go home. 💫 Am I right? ⬇️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The number 1 thing that might be stopping you from your dream is FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of it not being perfect, fear of rejection and EVEN fear of success. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Fear is an emotion that every person has. Some are just better at hiding it than others. I fear every time I post on social media and my blog of what others are going to think are say. It's something I have always struggled with. However, if I let that fear keep me from doing those things then how could I help others? I couldn't! So I post anyway. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here’s my advice in eliminating this from your life and moving forward so that you can start working towards all your dreams. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here’s my advice in eliminating this from your life and moving forward so that you can start working towards all your dreams. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Fear of failure...would you rather take no action (which is a failure in itself) or take action and fail along the way? Failure will always happen but keep pushing through it and allow that to keep you moving forward. That failure shows you what doesn't work!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Fear if it not being perfect...NEWS FLASH...nothing is perfect but you do it anyway. Same goes here! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Fear of rejection...rejection hurts but does it kill you? Absolutely not! Use that rejection as a catapult to the next level. Make it push you harder to prove those who rejected you WRONG!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Lastly...fear of success...success is a scary thing but it's WORTH it! Push yourself past this fear!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When I think about going after what I really want, I always think back to pushing past my fear. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I think about how my desire to dream big was greater than me "going home" or giving up.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So let's see, which one will you be walking into 2022 doing? Dreaming big??? Heck yes!
I'm curious 👇👇👇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How do you mentally "clock out."?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don't know about you, but if I sit behind a computer screen for TOO long, I will probably end up in pain and mentally drained.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To take a breather or disconnect from the day, here are a few things I do to mentally "clocking out"...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💎 Make a list of the things I didn't get to so I can start with those tasks the next day.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💎 I have to have a set schedule for work times. Working from home can cause a major work/life balance issue so a schedule cures that for me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
💎I make sure I listen to my body. No matter what what my schedule is, if my body says something different then I listen to it!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Remember, it is important to avoid burnout, and the best way to do this is to set aside regular time to “toggle off” and do the activities that make you feel happy and relaxed. I absolutely LOVE reading and hot bubble baths so once I have hit the off switch from work I like to grab a good book, run a nice bath and read. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What do you do to detach from work? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Comment below with your best tips👇🏻
Okay, let's hear it! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If I started a podcast, what are the topics you would love to listen to?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Drop the topics in the comments!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes #podcast
Everything you need to  get through the holidays as stress free as possible. 🎁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
@heartandstripes 👈follow⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
These are a few of my favorite things when it comes to handling the stress of the holidays... 💌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
[1] Lists! Seriously I make lists for everything....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
[2] Do the one thing you enjoy! I absolutely love baking during the holidays so I bake a bunch of sweets and make goody boxes for my husband's coworkers, my kids teachers and the neighbors. It's the best way to mark off a bunch of gifts while doing something I enjoy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
[3] Time management! We all get so busy that most of the time we forget to make time for ourselves. If you manage your time right then you will be able to get all your tasks accomplished as well as have time for you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
[4] Don't wait to the last minute! I am notorious for waiting until Christmas Eve to wrap all the presents. So many times I am even shopping the last couple of days. That makes the holidays much less enjoyable and causes a whole lot of stress! I made a change to that this year! I have wrapped presents as I bought them or they arrived in the mail and it's been so nice to know it's done. I am also done with ALL the shopping...RELIEF! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
[5] Have fun! Stop stressing about it all being perfect and just make some fun memories with your kids/family!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When I say these tips have been a game-changer...🎮 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I really mean mind-blowing, life-altering, soul-quenching.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Dramatic? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Not at all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have been able to spend more time with my family and feel a whole lot more relaxed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And if you doubt me...take the next few days and follow these tips. You will know I am not kidding!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Which is your favorite? 👇
💣 I've been cooking up something hot! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I can’t wait for the big reveal! 🤐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But for now, here’s what I can tell you...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A whole revamp to my website is just the start of what comes along with it! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Stay tuned!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
FIVE 5️⃣ reasons you should stop being a people pleaser and start learning the value of your time and how to protect your mental health!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
@heartandstripes 👈 follow⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you've been following me for a while, you already know you should always put your mental health first.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But here's what you should probably stop doing so that you aren't being a people pleaser at the expense of your mental health.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Your mental health effects everyone around you. If you are in a good place mentally then you are happier and more present for your family.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
People pleasing takes up too much of your time. Imagine all the extra time you would have to spend with your loved ones.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Priorities are a major part of your life. Keeping your priorities straight allows those who you love to know that they matter to you. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Self confidence is huge and when you learn to say NO instead of people pleasing, you are learning to be confident in yourself and your decisions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Along with self confidence, self worth is incredibly important. If you are people pleasing then you are telling yourself that you aren't worth your own time. You are allowing others to dictate your worth and that's NOT OKAY!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, what can we learn from this? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There are times to say yes and there are times to say no. People pleasing is something a lot of us fall victim to. However, it's damaging to our self confidence, self worth, our families, our mental health and throws our priorities out of balance. Show yourself that you value your time, your health, your worth and assert the confidence I KNOW you have! Learn to say no!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sound off below - which of these resonated with you the most? 🤓
Okay, I need your help!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have been considering a podcast for a while but I also know I have a bit of a mixed audience on this page. This is why I need your help. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If I did start a podcast, what would you want me to discuss? What kind of topics should I cover? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I would love to hear any and all of your suggestions. Drop them below!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Yesterday was a mental health day for me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What does that mean? It means that I didn't do anything! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
While my husband was at work and the kids were at school, I sat on the couch and watched Judge Judy's (I love her...yes that is my legal bone showing) new show and spent part of the day reading. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That type of day was much needed because my anxiety is through the roof right now. Things are starting to get a little crazy with COVID and restrictions here in Europe. No matter what your views are on the whole situation regarding COVID the restrictions can cause a lot of unknown and that triggers my anxiety. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When my anxiety gets triggered, my PTSD is also triggered and therefore I start having nightmares, insomnia, mood swings and other really fun (NOT) things. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Having been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety for over 12 years, I understand my triggers and how to cope with them. Mental health days are one of the most important ways to cope. I understand my body and after many years of therapy I know I need to listen to it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Some people like to criticize my mental health days and call me lazy. Those people don't understand the sleepless nights, the nightmares that I experience when I do finally fall asleep or the energy it takes to just simply climb out of bed and get the kids to school. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I say all of this so that everyone else understands that you never know what other people are going through. What might seem lazy to you, could actually be that person's all. Stop judging and show some sympathy, some compassion and just overall kindness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
 #militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Whoa, you haven’t joined this yet? ⬇️⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❗️😍❗️My favorite content creation membership is closing their holiday offer TODAY. Don’t let that door shut. Here’s the thing:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am a huge fan of Pixistock because it's an amazing community of women who help each other succeed. It's small businesses and entrepreneurs helping one another. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you’re like me and you’ve desperately needed to: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ Save more time creating content that converts, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ Beat inconsistency and paralysis on social media,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ And finally learn how to show up confidently online...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Then the Pixistock membership is perfect for you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s great for service-based entrepreneurs, coaches, course creators, digital product creators and personal brands who want to learn how to create a content that has a stronger impact.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You gain access to:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉 10,000+ diverse, lifestyle photos and premium Canva templates⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉 365-day Content planners, ideas and calendars⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
👉 A FREE Reels course to level up your video content⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s my content marketing lifesaver and a wonderful community to be a part of! 😇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m here for it, for 2022. Are you? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Access to all of Pixistock’s amazing resources ends TONIGHT. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Click the link in my bio to sign up!
What's on my schedule today? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Well I will be searching for the beloved elf that typically shows up tomorrow morning and brings the kid's advent calendars along. I have the calendars but finding the elf is a different story....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
because, you know, PCS. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The kids absolutely love our elf and I personally have a love hate relationship with it. I love that my kids get excited every morning to see what shenanigans have happened overnight but I seriously hate that I am the one that has to create those shenanigans. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Like can we get actual magical ones that do this stuff on their own?!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I can't tell you how many times over the next 25 days I will have to jump out of bed (after getting all comfortable for the night) to move the elf because I forgot about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Send help y'all....or maybe lots of alcohol!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you have an elf for your kids? Our kids named ours Nina Nora. What is your elf named?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Oh no! Your content, it’s broken! 😆 (iykyk) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself if what you’re posting on social media is even working? I have.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As an entrepreneur myself, I know that feeling all too well.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What helps me turn my content around? ✨Pixistock.✨⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(super proud affiliate over here) 😍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you don’t know much about Pixistock and it’s amazing resources, here’s what you need to know:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
☝️ ONE:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It will completely change how you think about growth and how you create content for your business.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✌️And TWO:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Their Lifetime membership and FREE access to The Reels Roadmap closes on the 1st!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For me, Pixistock has changed the way I think about content creation.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Not only can I find so many images and templates to promote my brand, I also learn a lot about what it means to have a good content strategy.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ultimately, I spend less time worrying about what to post and more time doing what I love in my business.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you’re ready for that kind of level up then head over to the link in my bio and JOIN NOW! 😍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#entrepreneur #contentcreation #stockphotos #reels #contentstrategy
Today was decorating day. 🎅🏻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We downsized in house size this last PCS so I was stressing out on where to put all the decorations. The life of a military family right?! It’s definitely cozy though and I’m happy with how it turned out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Moving houses constantly puts a strain on decorating but we make it work! 😊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Since we don’t have a fireplace, command hooks it is for our stockings. What are some of your tips for holiday decorating? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
A year ago I was navigating the holiday season alone. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My husband, my very best friend, was deployed. 👎🏻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It was the first time he missed my birthday, Halloween, Thanksgiving, our 10 year wedding Anniversary, Christmas, his birthday and our oldest daughter’s birthday. 😳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Today is our 11 year wedding anniversary and I am so thankful to have him home. This year he was so happy to be able to take our girls trick or treating, to fry our turkey for Thanksgiving and he is really enjoying the shopping aspect of our anniversary as well as Christmas. Let’s be honest….⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’m really enjoying having his help with it all! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Being a military spouse is so hard and especially so when your other half is half a world away during the holidays. So if you are struggling with that this year, please know you aren’t alone. So many of us have been there and understand. 💕⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you are struggling then please reach out to other military spouses. We are here for you! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Honestly today, THIS is what your business really deserves. 🎁 *link in my bio*⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Grab 10,000+ content ideas, Canva templates, and social media strategy for your online business.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Yeah.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you’re tired of wondering what your next post will be, TODAY IS THE DAY you need to join the Pixistock Membership.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Maybe you’ve heard of Alicia and the Pixistock team - maybe you haven’t.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I love being an affiliate for another small business that engages with us small businesses and cares about our success just as much as their own.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s not just about photos and graphics...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
...Pixistock fosters a community of diverse business women who understand the power of creating attractive, magnetic content for growth.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So before you splurge on tools that only give you HALF of what you need to stand out online, 👉click the link in my bio and join the content membership that covers it all.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ Content marketing strategy⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ Social Media planning⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ Diverse lifestyle photography⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✅ Premium Templates to make designing a whole lot easier.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For me, it’s the amazing templates and the group of supportive women that come with the membership. The Facebook group for members is unlike any other that I've seen!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s only $127 for over 10,000+ pieces of content to level up your social media feeds and promote your business without all the stress and overwhelm. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Ready to level up your content marketing?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Click the link in my bio or in my Stories to sign up to be a Pixistock member today.
The situation with Afghanistan can cause a lot of issues for Veterans. Those of us who have served there, lost friends/family there or even served in the war on terrorism. Many of us came home with mental health issues that plague us to this day. I know that seeing the plane trying to leave the Kabul airport yesterday caused a lot of emotions to rise up for me. I had flashbacks to my time in Iraq and was unable to sleep. I know I am not alone in this feeling. If you receive emails from the VA then you likely got the one that I did; however, if not, I wanted to give some of the info that was received from them. Maybe it can help you or someone you may know struggling. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Veterans may question the meaning of their service or whether it was worth the sacrifices they made. They may feel more moral distress about experiences they had during their service. It’s normal to feel this way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
In reaction to current events in Afghanistan, Veterans may:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Feel frustrated, sad, helpless, grief or distressed⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Feel angry or betrayed⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Experience an increase in mental health symptoms like symptoms of PTSD or depression⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Sleep poorly, drink more or use more drugs ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Try to avoid all reminders or media or shy away from social situations⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Veterans may feel like they need to expect and/or prepare for the worst. For example, they may: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Become overly protective, vigilant, and guarded ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Become preoccupied by danger⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Feel a need to avoid being shocked by, or unprepared for, what may happen in the future⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* Feeling distress is a normal reaction to negative events, especially ones that feel personal. It can be helpful to let ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(continued in comments)
This picture sums it up for me. This flag being clutched represents so much, especially to service members and their families. These service members risked their lives to save the lives of 800 people they were able to get into that C-17. They did what they had to do (in air refuel and all) to get these Americans home safely. 

While our exit from Afghanistan has been nothing short of a disaster, I can without a doubt, share in my pride for our service members. 

I was over there at the start of the war and the scenes from today remind me so much of that time. I know the fear, exhaustion and all the other emotions they have endured these past few days/weeks. I hope they know that we are proud of them. 

#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
I just realized that I never shared our deployment wall. Since our kids were older and understood the situation I wanted to make sure they had everything they needed to somewhat feel okay with daddy being gone. It was a very short notice deployment so I actually pulled this all together in a matter of a week. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can see the items in the picture but I plan on doing a blog post with links to where I bought the items (other than the ones I made). So stay tuned for that post!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Have you done a deployment wall for your kids? What items did they like the most?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Here's a fun little milso game for all of you this Saturday. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Who else can black out the board? I know I sure can LOL. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
"I don't know how you do it." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The number of times a military spouse hears that is crazy. We do it because we married the man of our dreams. We do it because we married our best friend and this is the calling he had. We do it because we can't imagine a life without our spouse and seven months (or more) apart doesn't change our love for them. If anything, it makes it stronger! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Instead of questioning us or comparing your spouses work trip to our spouse's deployment; simply ask "Is there anything I can help you with?" Show up with a ready made meal and just drop it off. Be a listening ear without the comparisons and advice...just listen. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We do it because we love our spouse and support their calling so just support us. I promise, supporting us will return full force when you need it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
I will always remember the day that my therapist said "You don't have to answer." Crazy right?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Why is it that we feel like we always have to be available? We feel bad if we don't answer a text or phone call right away. What we need to focus on is our mental health in regards to answering. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What I mean is that if answering that text or phone call will hinder your mental health in any way then DO NOT ANSWER! For me, my mental health requires as much peace as possible. If that phone call, text, even email will in any way mess with my peace then I don't answer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This thought process can be used for more than just your mental health. If you are having family time and your phone is going off with notifications, it's okay to not look and to not answer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you needed permission, this is it! It's not coming from me, it's coming from my therapist if that makes you feel better. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes #mentalhealth #anxiety #PTSD
If this picture doesn't say FREEDOM then I don't know what does?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I took this picture when we were at the zoo in Florida. My husband, kids and myself just stood looking at this magnificent creature in awe for a long time. As we walked away my oldest said "mom, when I get a phone I want that picture as my screen saver". I was kind of taken back by that comment but then I realized that both my kids have grown up as military kids. They see the pride and amazement that is the USA and for that I am beyond grateful. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So to that, I will say GOD BLESS AMERICA!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
No matter the situation, I still have DREAMS and I WILL hustle until they come true. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm digging deep the next couple of months and will be hustling to make those dreams a reality. I only have a few years before my husband retires so there's a lot to accomplish!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Start hustling for those dreams!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Two months ago all of our belongings were packed and drove off in an 18 wheeler. It's been two months without my bed, my couch, my coffee pot....EVERYTHING! We still have no idea where it all is either. The system that they "track" it in is not updating so that last update we have is when it was all still in the US. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So for all of my amazing non-military peeps, imagine packing your entire life up and watching it drive away with no idea when you will see it again. Scary right? Well that is our military life every three years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm no stranger to this feeling; however, it doesn't make things any easier. We have had to go out and buy a lot of things to get us by. Things that I could use for my kids to start school this month, I had to go buy because we don't know if they will have our shipment here in time. We are using borrowed furniture (extremely uncomfortable but we are making do), bought the bare necessities for kitchen supplies and making do without a lot of other things. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Please pray that our shipment arrives soon! This mama needs her stuff and I really want to have my kids feel settled before starting the school year. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
IT'S FRIDAY YA'LL!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We have made it through the week so it's time to celebrate that! Pop some champagne (or wine, or beer) and celebrate the weekend. You deserve it!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
When I look at this picture of me and my kids, I see all the flaws in my body. I see things I need to work on. My husband sees a wonderful and loving mom (according to his post when he took this) and my kids see excitement and joy as well as safety because mom is by their side. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Isn't it sad that I don't initially see the things that my family sees looking at this picture? It's because of that I decided to post it. I decided that I am going to work really hard on not seeing my flaws and instead focus on and try to see what my family sees. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We need to do better. We need to be better about our judgements of ourselves. We need to look at pictures like this and see that we are being a great mom by taking our kids to an event they really enjoy. We need to see the comfort and safety that our kids feel holding our hand. And we need to see the beauty that our husbands see because for me, I have two daughters watching that I would NEVER want to look at a picture and see flaws because they are BEAUTIFUL!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Remember who is watching you and more importantly, remember that you are doing an amazing job! Love yourself!!!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
It's Wednesday and my husband is back to work in office now. That means even though I am sleeping horribly, I still have to get up and take care of the kiddos. So on that note, hand me all the coffee....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Oh wait...we still don't have our household goods so no coffee pot and no vehicle to drive myself to Starbucks. PCSing is for the BIRDS! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Shipping your POV through the VPC can be extremely overwhelming when you haven't done it before. I am a planner and I am not the military member so I felt left out of the loop and in an extreme unknown. To help all those military spouses out there I wanted to provide a look inside the process and what needs to get done. Go check it out on my blog and feel free to comment with any questions you may have. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
PSA: This is my third time going through the VPC process and our vehicle has now arrived to the port here. While I am not an expert, I am very familiar with the process. We have used 3 different VPC's as well so I know they are all ran pretty much the exact same way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Hopefully it's helpful for all of you going through this experience for the first time or even those who haven't done it in many years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage #army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Even during the struggle there is always good, you just have to look for it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I've already shared that I am having some pretty serious anxiety this move but I keep trying to see the good in the situation. My family is with me and we are all safe and healthy. We have a nice roof over our head and one of our vehicles arrives this week. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is just a moment in time and eventually I will get my anxiety back to a manageable level. Until then, I will keep looking for the good. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Bonus to accepting a home on base before our arrival....there is a park a couple of houses down and the kids have been able to go almost daily. They have already made friends with the kids two houses down as well. Some people don't understand our decision to live on base when we could live in the German community but we chose to do what is best for our children. A lot of people don't know that when we were stationed in Belgium we had no option to live on base. While it was a great experience, our kids were much younger. They learned to speak Dutch and could speak with our neighbors and it was wonderful. However, we are not in that position anymore. Our kids will be attending a DODEA school (English speaking) therefore they won't be exposed to German near as much. We wanted to ensure our kids had prime opportunity to play and speak with American kids their age. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We also took into account that when/if COVID restrictions lessen then my husband will be going on TDYs throughout the AOR. I honestly feel better being on base when he's gone and that is even stateside. It's a comfort thing for me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Lastly, we took into account that this is either our last or our second to last duty station. Living on base allows us to put as much money aside as possible so that we are set for retirement. When I say that, I mean we are looking to build our forever home on land and therefore want to have a good lump sum for a downpayment. I say all of this because every military family faces these decision and often are questioned on why they chose to do what they did. If I share this with you and it helps you make the best decision for your family then I'm happy to do it! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse
I’m trying so very hard to live by these words. Yes, it’s definitely easier said than done but I challenge you to be on this journey with me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
(Don’t mistake grace for boring though! We all need some humor so be on the lookout for some reels from me soon!) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
This move has been rough on my anxiety. In all honesty, I expected it. Even though we are in our home we don’t have our household goods, school starts in less than a month and I still don’t have my bearings of where everything is. This uneasy feeling causes me major anxiety. It’s a trigger for me and I know that. 

I have done everything I can to ensure we are as comfortable and set up as we can be but that doesn’t change my anxiety. If you live with it then you understand that. Luckily my husband has learned that even though he doesn’t deal with anxiety, if I tell him I’m dealing with it then he just lets me do what I need to. 

Right now it’s causing my sleep patterns to be totally off. I can’t go to sleep until 4-5 am every day. Thank goodness my husband had been working from home so he’s been able to take care of the girls but days like today it’s rough. We had to be up at 7 am for appointments and I didn’t get to sleep until 4:30 am. I’m wiped! 

So how am I getting through it? I am telling myself that this feeling is only temporary. While it’s all consuming right now, it won’t last forever. I take deep breathes and I listen to my body. After these appointments today, I’m going to take a nice long nap. I am making good food to nourish my body and I continue to take my meds. 

My life has been turned all around and upside down theoretically, so it’s no wonder that I’m triggered. However, I’m strong, I’m with my family, and this is only temporary. 

Just pray that I can get some good sleep soon please! 💕

#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage

#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Be unstoppable! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes
Y'all, this book is SOOOO good! I love all of the books by authorabbyjimenez but this one got me good. I bought it for our plane ride over to Germany but ended up flying through it. I laughed, I cried, I got mad...I went through every emotion while reading it. My husband kept asking me if I was okay LOL. He's not a reader so he just doesn't get it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Seriously though, GO GET THIS BOOK! I'd offer mine up but I am sure I will be re-reading it soon.
My entire life I have been a people pleaser. I always said yes, always did everything for everyone else and just all around was more worried about the happiness of others than myself. That is NOT a good way to live. It's exhausting! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But be honest, have any of us automatically been ourselves and said "forget what other people think of me"? I will venture to say no and that majority of us start out people pleasing. We have a desire to be liked and sometimes that means we alter who we authentically are. As I have gotten older and as I have traveled the world being a military spouse I have realized how damaging that is to me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you aren't being your authentic self then your friends aren't really your friends. How can you connect and really get to know someone who isn't showing who they really are. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Listen, I'm going to get real with you right now. You aren't meant to have this huge (too many to count) number of best friends. I am not saying you should only have a limited number of friends but I am saying that the ones you have should know the authentic you. If you are lucky enough to make 100 friends who accept the authentic you then that is amazing! However, if you are more like me, then you take your smaller group of friends and enjoy the fact that they know, understand and love the me that I am. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don't have to be happy all the time. I don't have to speak a certain way. I don't even have to talk around them. They get me and I get them. Isn't that more important than the number of "friends" you have?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Don't be afraid to be the authentic you! Do it FEARLESSLY!!!
Okay, lets hear it from all the military spouses who are in the middle of a PCS and just want some dang wine! The day after we got into our home here in Germany there was a bazaar on base so OF COURSE I had to go! I picked up some great local wine and was so excited to drink it. We don't have our household goods yet so we couldn't open the bottle but my husband came to the rescue and hit up the gas station on base. Of course we don't have wine glasses but luckily we had this awesome cup from Magnolia that we brought with us. So I drank wine from a cup and gave no *****! LOL⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I see all of you amazing military spouses out there! This PCS stuff is for the birds but we rock it like it's nothing!
Storms come and go and sometimes it's a constant rotation. Many of us, myself included, try to stop the storm. We try to fix whatever is causing that storm. For me, that's just who I am but I have had to re-evaluate that. My anxiety only gets worse if I am focusing on the storm and fixing that instead of focusing on myself. Find peace and calm yourself. When you do that then you are able to weather the storm and it will pass much more quickly than if your only focus is on the storm.

 

Loading Comments...