Home
About Me
Contact
- Contact
- Privacy Policy

Heart & Stripes

A Milso Blog

Military
Motherhood
Recipes
- Breakfast
- Lunch
- Dinner
- Snacks
Household
DIY
Travel
- United States
- Europe
Mompreneur

050837cfc7c0f8b0b694382b70ea8fb0

April 20, 2016 by heartandstripes Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating

Recipe Rating

Comment

Name *

Email *

Website

Notify me of new posts by email.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me

I am a Veteran & Military Spouse providing encouragement, advice & support while navigating my journey as a stay at home mom living with PTSD & anxiety.

Instagram

Loading...

Be unstoppable! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#militaryspouse #military #milspouse #milspo #militaryfamily #militarylife #militarymarriage⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#army #armywife #navy #navywife #airforce #airforcewife #marinecorps #marinecorpswife #armyspouse #navyspouse #airforcespouse #marinecorpspouse #heartandstripes

Y'all, this book is SOOOO good! I love all of the books by authorabbyjimenez but this one got me good. I bought it for our plane ride over to Germany but ended up flying through it. I laughed, I cried, I got mad...I went through every emotion while reading it. My husband kept asking me if I was okay LOL. He's not a reader so he just doesn't get it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Seriously though, GO GET THIS BOOK! I'd offer mine up but I am sure I will be re-reading it soon.

My entire life I have been a people pleaser. I always said yes, always did everything for everyone else and just all around was more worried about the happiness of others than myself. That is NOT a good way to live. It's exhausting! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
But be honest, have any of us automatically been ourselves and said "forget what other people think of me"? I will venture to say no and that majority of us start out people pleasing. We have a desire to be liked and sometimes that means we alter who we authentically are. As I have gotten older and as I have traveled the world being a military spouse I have realized how damaging that is to me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If you aren't being your authentic self then your friends aren't really your friends. How can you connect and really get to know someone who isn't showing who they really are. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Listen, I'm going to get real with you right now. You aren't meant to have this huge (too many to count) number of best friends. I am not saying you should only have a limited number of friends but I am saying that the ones you have should know the authentic you. If you are lucky enough to make 100 friends who accept the authentic you then that is amazing! However, if you are more like me, then you take your smaller group of friends and enjoy the fact that they know, understand and love the me that I am. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don't have to be happy all the time. I don't have to speak a certain way. I don't even have to talk around them. They get me and I get them. Isn't that more important than the number of "friends" you have?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Don't be afraid to be the authentic you! Do it FEARLESSLY!!!

Okay, lets hear it from all the military spouses who are in the middle of a PCS and just want some dang wine! The day after we got into our home here in Germany there was a bazaar on base so OF COURSE I had to go! I picked up some great local wine and was so excited to drink it. We don't have our household goods yet so we couldn't open the bottle but my husband came to the rescue and hit up the gas station on base. Of course we don't have wine glasses but luckily we had this awesome cup from Magnolia that we brought with us. So I drank wine from a cup and gave no *****! LOL⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I see all of you amazing military spouses out there! This PCS stuff is for the birds but we rock it like it's nothing!

Storms come and go and sometimes it's a constant rotation. Many of us, myself included, try to stop the storm. We try to fix whatever is causing that storm. For me, that's just who I am but I have had to re-evaluate that. My anxiety only gets worse if I am focusing on the storm and fixing that instead of focusing on myself. Find peace and calm yourself. When you do that then you are able to weather the storm and it will pass much more quickly than if your only focus is on the storm.

New post up on the blog! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sorry it's taken so long to get this up but I started it before the move and then things got insanely busy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I wanted to provide you all with some great lessons learned as well as some tips that I have learned along the way. This is geared towards military PCS but anyone utilizing packers could utilize it as well. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am working on the next post that will be helpful for military PCS as well. Keep a lookout.

How can others love you if you don't love yourself? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Not only should you love yourself, you should love yourself FIERCELY! You are worth that love from yourself and others!

OCONUS PCS Tip...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The Foreign Clearance Guide has changed recently. If you do not have your No-Fee Passports (issued through your base/post passport office) then you MUST have your tourist passports and a memorandum from your base/post passport office stating that you have applied for your No-Fee Passports. The rotator flights will deny you if you don't have these items and you run the risk of the country not letting you in if you fly commercial and go through immigration. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Also, make sure your name matches on all documents. I had an extra letter in my boarding pass due to it being fat fingered when scheduled through the travel office on base. Luckily we caught it and it was changed at the terminal before I received my final boarding pass. If your names don't match on your boarding pass, no-fee passport and military ID they can (and likely will) deny you entry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My best advice is that you head strait to apply (or correct information) for you tourist passport as soon as you received notification of orders OCONUS. Once you have done that then proceed with medical clearance so that you can get your hard orders ASAP. AS SOON AS you get your hard orders schedule an appointment with your on base passport office and apply for your No-Fee passports. This will help to ensure you have plenty of time to get your no-fee ones back in time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
PCSing OCONUS is difficult and confusing and I understand that more than a lot of people. I promise a blog post is coming soon to help with that! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What information for OCONUS PCSing would you like to see in the blog post?

"Just train the mind and the body will follow." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I was watching Celebrity IOU on HGTV the other day and Kevin Hart was redoing his trainer's man cave as a thank you for helping him walk again after his tragic car accident. When the trainer saw the surprise he was beyond words but what really got me was when the brothers asked the trainer what that quote meant to him. He responded with something along the lines that everything you do starts in your mind. If you have success in your mind then you will accomplish it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So what is it that you want to do? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Is there a business you want to start?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Is there a new workout program you want to start?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you want to eat healthier?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Are there places you want to travel to?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You need to do the things you have been wanting to do and you need to do it for you, not for anyone else. Push yourself outside of your boundaries and train your mind for success. Once you do that your body will follow.

PCS Tip...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When we lived in Belgium we traveled back stateside MANY times. My husband and I figured it out that throughout 4 years of being stationed there, we flew that long flight 9 times. NINE TIMES! That's a lot! Unfortunately, many of those flights were due to deaths in the family. While the circumstances were unfortunate, those trips were learning experiences. I was able to learn that the way you pack makes baggage claim either a good experience or a horrible experience....especially when you have kids! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I plan on doing a detailed post about packing and navigating the airport when PCSing. Until I get that up, here are a few tips:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Use military duffle bags! You can fit so much in them (especially when you roll your clothes). Not a single one of our bags was over 50 pounds and we each have 4 weeks worth of clothes in them.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*One duffle per family member and then a miscellaneous bag. That duffle is the one with the bathroom stuff, extra shoes, meds, etc.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Get rolling backpacks for the kids for a carry on. They will get tired of wearing a backpack so the rolling part is life saving and most of them fit under the seat in front of them therefore easily accessible. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Buy covers for your car seats or booster seats. Doing this makes it easier to carry them but ultimately that means you can sneak a few things in with the car seat. (Pillows, some books, stuffed animals, etc)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Bungee Cords are LIFE! I despise having to pay $6 for a luggage cart (USO has free ones but they run out and it's just easier to grab one closer). All 5 of our duffle bags are on one luggage cart. We bungee corded the bottom 4 onto this cart and the 5th one is just sitting on top. Then we used a bungee cord on the back to hold the booster seats. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*Make electronics easily accessible for TSA!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Lastly, use the military style backpacks for yourself and yourself. (More comfortable!)

So many people give specific lists of what self care is; however, I believe that self care depends on the person. What do you do that makes you feel more like yourself? Some people might go shopping while others might go to the gym. I personally like grabbing a book and curling up in a quiet area to read while I drink some coffee or a glass of wine. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You decide what self care is for you. Does it make you feel better? Are you happier when you are done? Then you are on the right track for you and that is what matters.

I found this picture online recently and saved it to my phone. (Sorry I can't give credit to who it belongs to as I just saved the photo.) It was so important to me that I save it and share with with you all because I feel like these days people make it seem like you should never depend on your spouse. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As military families, we are often extremely far from all of our families. We only have our spouse and the network of people we make at our current duty location. We rely, or dare I say depend, on our spouse. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For me, I have always depended on my husband. He is my best friend. He is my rock on the hard days and he is my biggest supporter with any new adventure I start. However, I couldn't do any of this without my husband. When I have to step up my business game then he steps in and takes on things with the kids and house. If he deploys then it's my turn to step in and take it all. We are a team and in a team you depend on your teammates. It's okay, actually it's a requirement of a team, to depend on your teammate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Me depending on my husband does not mean that I can't function without him. It's actually the opposite. I can hold the fort down and keep everything moving because I depend on my husband. When he deployed for seven months recently, I did it all. We had Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, our oldest daughter's birthday and even Mother's Day without my husband. I got it all done on my own. Once he was home it went back to teamwork. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I always look at it through the viewpoint of my grandparents who have been married for a VERY long time. I have never seen my grandmother not depend on my grandfather. Maybe this world needs a bit more of that....but that's just my opinion.

There are so many things that I am grateful for but these are focused on this PCS....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I am grateful for:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* a safe and uneventful road trip from Utah down to Florida.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* the time we got to spend with our families before leaving for a few years.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* that Hurricane Elsa did not effect our flights from Florida to Baltimore.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* flying out on the rotator before the COVID testing ended. We tried getting our daughters tested downtown but the results didn't come in before we flew out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* that our kids tested negative so we didn't have to miss our flight. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* that since our home was not ready for occupancy, housing ensured we had a TLF room to lay our heads in. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* that I have an amazing husband who kept me sane through this whole move.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* that our kids did amazing on a seven hour flight....I mean they slept 6 of the hours!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
* having my husband's sponsor there to pick up us when we flew in, drive us all to our TLF and then taking my husband to the grocery store so we could have some food for a few days. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There are so many things to be grateful for during this PCS. While it's not the easiest and being here with no vehicle and stuck in TLF for days, I know it's a temporary thing and we will get through it. I have to focus on the things I am grateful for and keep a positive outlook.

Total geek out moment for me was driving to Waco, Texas knowing that I would get to visit this awesome place. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Some might not know this but I have big business plans when my husband retires and visiting Waco was a huge step in helping me plan for that future project. We aren't far off from retirement (maybe one more assignment after this one) so it's essential that I take the next few years while we are in Germany to get my business plan together and start designing. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Going to Magnolia allowed me to take pictures, explore styles and get design ideas which might work for my business. And no, I'm not spoiling it and telling you what I plan on doing lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Military life can be daunting and when you get to the point that you start planning for life AFTER the military it's exciting. It can also be pretty scary so preparing is essential. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What do you think I am planning to do as a business?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*** If you know me and know the answer to this question then you aren't allowed to answer ****

Social media and pretty much everything on the internet is a highlight reel. Most people don't share the bad or ugly part of their lives. They like to make it look like everything is 100% all of the time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
While I try hard not to do that, some might say that my life is "perfect". Let me assure you that it's not and while I try to post some of the hard times, I don't always do that because while I choose to put my life out there....not everyone in my life has chose to do that. I try to be respectful of others in my life. So in essence, you get a highlight reel of my life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you think it's fair to compare your whole life (highs and lows) to someone else when you don't know everything going on in their life? No, it's not fair. You can't compare yourself to others and especially strangers on the internet! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My best advice is that you life in the moments of your life and take things as they come. Tackle each obstacle head on and share when you defeat it. Don't look to others, they aren't you and they aren't going through what you are. Everyone's journey is unique so you can't compare yours to anyone else.

PCS Tip...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As your kids get older each PCS gets a little harder on them. They have to leave friends behind and while we can explain that with today's technology they can keep in touch, they may not believe it or know that only the closest ones will actually hold true to keeping in touch. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For us, and our kids, we decided that they needed to make a list. A bucket list of sorts if you will. We wanted to know what they would want to do or see on our leave before heading over to Germany. While they had many things on their lists, the one thing that wasn't was a Professional Woman's Soccer game. Our oldest is a huge fan of Alex Morgan and we happen to be visiting family just outside of Orlando so we surprised her with tickets to the Orlando Pride game. Unfortunately for us, Alex Morgan was not playing when we went because she was heading out to Tokyo for the Olympics but it was still a great time. Throughout this leave time we have made multiple stops to do or see things on their lists. It's helped them say "goodbye" to the US for the next few years. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I highly recommend doing this if you are PCSing. It doesn't matter if you are going states away or countries away, being taken from your friends is extremely hard on the kids. Having a list of things to look forward to helps ease that transition. If nothing else, it tires them out as well LOL.

I have to say, an overseas PCS has a way of testing you. The craziness of packing your whole life up and sending it across the world is trying and probably one of the scariest things you can do. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I remember the first time we did it and we had a 10 month old and a 2 year old. Can you imagine packing enough clothes, diapers, bottles, and everything else to survive 30-60 without your whole house? Then pack enough food and bottles for a toddler and baby for a 10+ hour flight! It was insane! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Now I have older kids which cuts out a lot of the space taking items but it's still a struggle. Most civilians (non military) don't understand what it's like to live 60 days without their entire life. Our families don't think anything of it that we go months living out of 1-2 suitcases each. The simple pleasures of life are not available to us for months at a time. Heck, there are so many times that us military spouses think we just can do it.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Truth is though, WE ARE STRONG! We are strong enough to do it and that is why God made us military spouses. We plan, we pack and we push through because we love our military member and while we don't necessary love this moving every couple of years thing, we do love our spouse. We will follow them to every corner of the world if it means we get to be together, so we pack our entire life every 3 or so years and we go where the military sends us. We are STRONG and we are STRONG ENOUGH to be military spouses. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You got this!

This PCS has definitely been a trying one, even though we have done an OCONUS PCS before and knew what to expect. You know that saying, "You make plans and God laughs". Yeah well that's kind of our motto these past couple of months. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Last time we moved OCONUS we only shipped one vehicle and that went through the military/VPC. This time we decided to ship both our vehicles. Needless to say, we have had a lot of lessons learned through this process. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The VPC shipping is straight forward and once scheduled it goes pretty smoothly (as long as you have your documents when you arrive). We knew what to do for that and we were very prepared. Shipping our second vehicle has been a totally different story. After 3 months of working with a company to get it picked up, we were informed of requirements days before our pick up date that wouldn't allow for it to be picked up prior to us flying out! We literally had to drive it almost three hours away to the port to get it dropped off before we fly out. Luckily we were able to drive it and the company at the port (not the same as the one we use to schedule it) was super friendly and easy to work with. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It's been an insane process that has inspired me to write a whole blog post on shipping a second vehicle. The process for this highly used company is broken and had my husband and I very frustrated. It's not something I want other military members and spouses to go through. So be on the lookout for an upcoming blog post. Hopefully it will help other's moves go smoothly. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This difficult process has inspired me to write this post because it's a process I experienced. I don't personally experience some other processes so I am curious, what process would you like to see a post on that would help with your PCS? Drop the topics in the comments below so I can get to work!

Therapy! Yes, I know, I say this word a lot and I will continue to do so!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have been seeing my current therapist for eight years now. Yes, you read that right. EIGHT years! I honestly do not know where my life would be had I not found her. I had my appointment last week and we were discussing things and she kept pointing out how in the situations I was telling her about, I had enacted my coping mechanisms or I had stuck to a boundary that I had set. It felt like such a huge accomplishment to me that now these things came naturally when eight years ago it was such a struggle for me. At the end of our session my therapist looked at me and said "you are so much happier now". It felt like I was on top of the world in that moment!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Eight years ago I was a mess and that is not an exaggeration. When I posted yesterday about giving and giving but never taking care of me, I was not kidding. I was depleted and had been for so many years. Add into that my PTSD and anxiety and I felt that I was under ten feet of water. I had two young kids and a husband and I knew that was not the version of me they deserved and I didn't deserve to feel that way. It was time for a CHANGE. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Flash forward eight years and I now have boundaries set with the people in my life (family and friends), I have coping mechanisms for my PTSD and anxiety struggles, and I understand the word NO. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It's not an easy journey and it's A LOT of work but I started to change on the inside. Once those changes happened on the inside....things changed around me too. It's a worthwhile journey that I am so glad I started. It's also not over. I will never be perfect and I will never stop working on me. I still have really high anxiety and my PTSD is still a huge struggle for me; however, I have learned my triggers and I utilize the tools I have to get through those struggles. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm getting my First Class treatment! Are you?

Happy Independence Day!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness so GET TO IT! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Happy 4th of July....be safe out there!

I follow @seanwwhalen and recently he posted about a blog post that @markevansdm wrote. As I read the post it really hit home for me in a lot of ways. Here's a part of what Sean wrote:⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"He talked about flying first class vs coach. The long and short of it is that we want to be treated like first class, and we want to do business and work with people in first class, but we treat ourselves like coach. We spend the least but expect the most. We cut coupons but expect to be paid top notch. Basically, we want the FIRST CLASS LIFE but only invest in the coach seats."⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For me it wasn't the literal take on it. I understand the business side and yes it definitely should be taken literal by business owners. For me, I took it to heart in the symbolic fashion. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We need to treat our bodies and mind in a first class manner. I personally used to run my cup dry and still give and give to everyone around me. I was always giving but never taking care of myself. I was treating everyone else as first class but treating myself as coach. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That is not right and you are the only one that pays for it down the road. My mental health journey took a huge turn when I decided that my husband, kids and myself were the priority. I deserve the best! If I have anything left over after taking care of those people then I will give but if I don't then it's okay to say no. You deserve first class and your family deserves for you to feel your best. When you treat yourself in a first class manner then your mental health begins to change for the better. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Bottom line....YOU DESERVE THE BEST. YOU DESERVE FIRST CLASS!

PCS Tip….⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Utilize the military green duffles to pack! I know it sounds kind of crazy but after an overseas PCS, a PCS back stateside and multiple trips back to the states during our last OCONUS assignment I have learned a few things. It’s amazing how much stuff you can fit into these green duffles, especially when you roll your clothes. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This PCS we are taking leave in route to visit family but instead of flying we decided a family road trip was in order. We shipped our SUV from the VPC early so we could only pack what would fit into our sedan. Needless to say, I stressed out about it because I wasn’t sure we could fit everything we needed. I went to clothing and sales and picked up the new style of green duffles. These have a zipper down the whole side of the bag. It’s very handy so we don’t have to worry about what we need being on the bottom. Each of our family members have one of those duffles and then I have one regular (old style) duffle which has shoes, bathroom stuff and any miscellaneous items. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All five of these duffles fit into the trunk of our Altima and I packed enough clothes for 20-30 days for each of us plus my husband has his uniform and boots packed in his bag. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
These bags have been a life saver for us this PCS and I know they can be helpful for you as well, especially if you are limited on space.

Sundays are the perfect days to unplug and spend some quality, device free, time. It can be with family, friends or by yourself if that’s what you need. It doesn’t have to be all day. Start by trying it for a couple hours and keep going if it feels good. You will be amazed at the difference it can make.

PCS Tip….⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Remember that your kids will struggle with each move the older that they get. My kids have really struggled with this move because they are old enough to truly understand how far away we are moving which means they “won’t ever get to see their friends again”. My kids are not old enough for phones (and won’t be for a while with our rules) so instead I created an email address for each of them. I used gmail and I even have their emails set up to come to my phone. The last day of school they handed out papers with their email to each of their friends. There were a couple of friends that they were really worried about keeping contact with so I reached out to the moms on Facebook and we are now connected. We also made it a point to drive our kids to their closets friends houses the day we were leaving so they could hug goodbye and get a picture together. I will print those photos out and hang them in their new room. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Doing these simple steps have helped each of my kids cope with this move and showed them that even though we have to move, their dad and I care about their feelings and are willing to do what we can to help them keep in contact. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What do you do to help your kids cope with each PCS?

This PCS has been one of the most taxing ones of our career. Even my husband has been feeling it. Luckily we are down to just one final task of shipping our second vehicle. Since it’s been such a hard and crazy move I’ve had to make sure I find time for self care. Something as simple as reading a book can be self care. I always have 2-3 books with me so that’s my quick go to. I’ve also been taking naps. Nothing too long, just an hour, but it makes such a difference in my mood and the patience that I have with my kids. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You have to find what works for you but here are some ideas. 💕

If you haven't already then go check out @women.of.the.military.podcast and check out the episode where I talk with Amber about my experience in the Army as well as give some advice for women considering serving.

Anxiety, depression, PTSD, etc.....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
All of these disorders play tricks on your mind. You can get caught truly believing the things that these disorders bring into your mind. For me, my anxiety leads me to think about all the horrible things that can happen in any given situation. I could really go down a dark hole if I start to believe that those horrible things will happen every time I think of them. To be honest, I have been in the spot where I believed it and it was a very rough time for me. Luckily I have a wonderful support system and a great therapist that keeps me from going down that dark hole. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So here is your support system...ME! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Stop believing everything you think....YOU CAN DO THIS!

I have another PCS tip for you....⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ORIGINAL BOXES!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
No joke, we keep original boxes for everything that is important to us...even if it's not expensive. Every one of the boxes pictured gets stored in our garage while we are at our duty station. When it's time to PCS then we put the boxes in the room where the item is so once the packers see the item working it can be boxed in its original box. If you want to be reimbursed for the item (if broken) then the packers have to see it working before packing it. If it's not something that's expensive or you aren't worried about reimbursement then you can pack it up before they arrive. For example, I have a dutch oven pot that I like a lot but was bought on sale. We box that up before the packers arrive. However, my Cricut machines, TVs, computers, etc. were all seen in working order before packed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I figure if the company ships these electronics in these boxes then the packers loading them into the crates after packing them in the original boxes is the safest option. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Do you keep the original boxes for your items?

Don't carry a heavy load from your past, PUT IT DOWN!

Happy Father's Day to all the amazing daddies out there! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You guys ROCK!

I allow myself to be where ever I am.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What do I mean by that? I mean that I allow myself to be or feel whatever I am at that moment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That doesn't mean that if I am anxious I don't take steps to calm myself because I do. Allowing myself to be where I am at in that moment means I don't beat myself up for feeling the way I do. It means that I understand what I am feeling is where I am in that moment is just that, a moment. It will eventually pass. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm not broken and neither are you.

Are you a female that is considering joining the military? If so then I highly recommend you check out this podcast and not just because I provide some of my own advice but because Amber (@airmantomom) does a wonderful job gathering advice from a wide variety of female veterans. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Check out the @women.of.the.military.podcast on your favorite podcast platform.

No caption needed on this one...⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I struggled with this for a long time and it wasn't until I dug into this with my therapist that I was able to recognize just how damaging this thought process was for my mental health. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you shouldn't be there for your kids or husband. I'm simply saying you can't be EVERYTHING for EVERYONE. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You can't pour from an empty cup!

PCS Tip (especially if moving OCONUS)...
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Colored duct tape is your friend! Yes, I know that packers always label the boxes with what room it was packed in; however, it's much quicker to see the duct tape and know that it automatically goes to a certain room.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
For example, for this move the red duct tape is my living room items. I put pieces of red tape on each of the living room boxes and then a piece of red tape onto a paper. When we arrive at our new house I will hang that paper in the room (or on the door to the room) that those boxes belong in so the movers can easily see it. This will allow the movers to move quickly when unloading but is also a huge help when moving OCONUS and there is a language barrier. I also highly recommend you put the tape near the inventory sticker because they will already be looking for that number to mark off the list.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Side note...I was also told by our packers this year that they even like it when we label with duct tape because it's much easier to know exactly where you want your boxes.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How many of you have done this with the duct tape? Did you receive any feedback from the movers?

Life as a military spouse can be overwhelming. When you add in a major life change (or two) like PCSing or deployments it can feel like it's more than you can handle. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As a veteran and military spouse that suffers from PTSD and anxiety, there are so many times that I feel like I just can't handle anymore. When I feel like that I have to stop and tell myself to breathe. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So here is your reminder to just stop and breathe. Everything will be okay!

All of our stuff is on it's way to our next duty station. We camped out in the house for a night but decided to move to a hotel for more comfort. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As usual, this PCS is not going as planned so we are still at our current duty station even though we should be on our way to drop our vehicle off at the VPC. I don't say this to complain, I am telling you so that you know that you should always be prepared for plans to change. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My husband has been in over 20 years and we have experienced some of the craziest things during a PCS. I plan to not only share some of that with you in my upcoming blog posts but also give you some advice based on my personal experience. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What are some PCS experiences you have had? What advice would you give to someone experiencing that issue?

Who wants to be normal anyway?!

I have been absent from posting and updating my blog the last couple of weeks but for a good reason! My husband has been deployed for 7 months and he finally returned just over a week ago. I haven't been open about that on this page because well, OPSEC. (I promise to write about it all in upcoming blog posts.)⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Let that process for a minute. I have been preparing for this move to Germany all alone. Yeah, it's been a tough one! Most importantly, my husband has always been my best friend. I was without my best friend for seven whole months and it was HARD! The best thing that came out of it was that I proved to myself and so many others that I could do it. I could handle the house, the kids an every thing that came up along the way, which included prepping for a move overseas. Since we got orders while my husband was deployed and we are scheduled to out process our current base less than four weeks after his return, it was all on me. And you know what, I DID IT! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
You all know that I struggle with anxiety and I started having panic attacks so this short notice deployment for my husband was worrisome for both of us. I plan to go into depth with the whole adventure these past seven months but over the next few weeks I will be pretty busy. Between hubs finally being home and PCSing...it's going to be a crazy summer. Keep checking in though because hopefully I can still stick to somewhat of a schedule for you all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
As always, thank you for always supporting me and caring. If you are going through a deployment right now then please know you are in my prayers and YOU GOT THIS!

You are in control so go after what you want! You deserve to be happy, you deserve to follow your dreams. Get to it!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
#goalgetter #dreamer #youcandoit #anythingyouwant #milso #militaryspouse #heartandstripes #selfcare

I have a ritual when it comes to PCSing. Most military spouses do. My main one is that I go through EVERYTHING and PURGE, PURGE, PURGE. I can officially say that other than the garage (which requires my husband's help) I have gone through everything for our upcoming PCS.

This was the final clean out which was my daughter's closet. Just like most kids, her closet becomes the catch all when she doesn't want to clean up. Her closet wasn't as bad as my oldest daughter's was but it's done and so is the whole inside of the house. I feel very accomplished....and ahead of schedule since packers don't show up for another month!

***Swipe to see the finished product after my purge.***

No worries...there are still plenty of things to do to be ready for this move. Stay tuned as I am currently working on a blog post to help those of you PCSing.

#PCSseason #organizing #milso #miltaryspouse #heartandstripes

Blog Design by TinselPop